Aussie Camping nearly killed me....

Go to the great outdoors, they say. Get the red dirt under your fingernails; it will be awesome. Soothes the soul. And it's true. However, you can't - I can't - eat like a traditional Aussie camper - alcohol (goes with the open fire) and food that is entertaining and easy to carry.


After two weeks, I have come back with a skin rash, the likes of which I have never known, my gut is bloated beyond my elasticised pants, and my brain has disconnected from my mouth, making whole sentences challenging. Writing to you is only possible with the safety of Grammarly and the Draft function.


So what do you do when your whole being is revolting? You flush. Eliminate. Reset and read—lots of reading. Reading takes the ache away from the craving of withdrawal. To be clear, I love everything - salami, wine, cheese, chips - like I love waking up and going for a walk with Frankie. I love cracking a bottle (or two) of bubbles and getting the kitchen fired up with good food and great chat. Unfortunately, my unrequited love taunts me, and I end up here, itchy and bloated and incapable of spelling my name.... (slight exaggeration, but you get the point).


Susan Blum, author of Healing Arthritis and The Immune System Recovery Plan, advocates for a 3 step process to conquering arthritis naturally. Her books have been sitting on my bookshelf for years, and every time I get to the elimination diet, I find little time to read until my next flare-up. 


I have found two short weeks between social functions, which will undoubtedly involve wine and tomatoes, so here I go. Two weeks of Elimination. Sounds fucking awful, right? My grandmother passed away with five things in her cupboard because she "eliminated" until she died from starvation or bordom (Mum and I are still unsure what). Still, she had beautiful skin and bodily functions to be admired. That said, I don't want to go down that road. I believe in variety, food that is alive and moderation, which was chucked out the window whilst camping out of practicality and availability. And also a good time, if truth be told. 


Anyway, I am writing this blog after two sober days and nights, and I will be honest, my brain is coming back, my eyes are starting to sparkle again, and I am feeling better. So much so that I am willing to give Susan's two-week protocol a go. No caffeine, no dairy, no alcohol, no potato, no gluten, no preservatives, and no added sugar (fruit is ok). She says to concentrate on what you can have rather than what you can't. It's good advice, but I find myself overwhelmed by what I can't have that I don't eat until I am hungry and then start looking for things to eat that I can have. The tip should be to plan, get the shit you can't eat out of the house and eat regularly, so you don't go hunting for the biscuits/chips/salami.


I'll keep you posted. I will either get better and be annoying, or Mark will die with an empty bottle of red in his hand. x

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